If F1 teams were movie characters

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With the silly F1 season still brewing and the driver market still trying to settle, it’s time for a silly F1 article. Although there are a few F1 films, such as Grand Prix (1966) and Rush (2013), the teams themselves are larger than life characters. With that in mind, it would be a fun opportunity to examine which iconic movie character each F1 team corresponds to both on and off the grid.

Alfa Romeo: Q, “James Bond” Franchise

Since joining F1 in 2019, Alfa Romeo could best be described as wallpaper. The team is there on the grid, but you hardly notice them in the race except when they do something good or bad. Although they are on track for their best result since returning to F1, Alfa Romeo’s performance has plummeted after their early season success.

Considering all of this, one of the best wallpaper characters in movie history is Q from the James Bond franchise. He has his moments, good and bad, but he serves no purpose to the story other than giving Bond some technical help early or midway through the movie. You see it, enjoy it, then move on. It’s Alfa Romeo in a nutshell.

AlphaTauri: Kevin McCallister, home alone

Red Bull’s sister team is by far the younger and less successful sister in the relationship. Originally known as Toro Rosso before its rebrand, it has only two more wins and two podiums since its debut season in 2006. When the team puts in outstanding performances, like in Baku this season, it stands out and elicits the praise of pilots.

In a way, AlphaTauri is Red Bull’s Kevin McCallister for their Buzz. Red Bull wins praise and success every week, on and off the grid. Meanwhile, AlphaTauri has mid-level performance with extremely charismatic riders. On the occasions when AlphaTauri catches the proverbial Wet Bandits, they receive an immense amount of praise before being forgotten again by the next race. Red Bull should, however, try not to forget Yuki when he travels at Christmas, otherwise the good doctor might reach the level of Catherine O’Hara by shouting “Yuki”!

Alpine: Captain Jack Sparrow, “Pirates of the Caribbean” Franchise

So far in 2021, Alpine has been F1’s agent of chaos. Teammates fight on the track causing them to lose time and position on the track, check. A driver contract disaster unlike anything in the modern era of F1, yes. The team manager who sometimes seems totally disconnected. All while being in a battle for the best of the rest in the Constructors’ Championship. Who does all this mess line up with?

Captain Jack Sparrow, the eccentric and hilarious pirate who sails the seven seas is the embodiment of Alpine. In his first scene in the franchise, he sails through the harbor in a ship’s crow’s nest. The epic plan is soon interrupted by her sliding down a rope to reveal that the ship is actually a profusely flooded little monkey. As he finally arrives in the harbor, he climbs into the crows nest as the dingy sinks into the harbor and he climbs onto the dock. This scene alone is the epitome of Alpine handling driver contracts this season.

Aston Martin: Richie Rich, Richie Rich

Aston Martin, formerly Racing Point, is run by Canadian billionaire Lawrence Stroll. His son, Lance Stroll is one of the team’s pilots. The comparison is done.

In Richie Rich, Richie’s dad gives him everything a kid could want: baseball lessons with Yankees players at his house, a homemade McDonalds, Claudia Schiffer as an aerobics instructor, and more. But the only thing he misses are other children to be friends with, as he is prepared to take over from his father when the time comes. Just like Richie has no child friends, has anyone ever met a Lance Stroll fan? I’m not saying Lance is going to succeed Lawrence, but Lance is racing in F1 because his dad owns the team. Another team might sign him, but that’s no guarantee.

Ferrari: The Three Stooges, The Three Stooges TV Series

The iconic slapstick comedy trio, which had six different members during their run, is the epitome of modern Ferrari working order.

Their gluttony for corporal punishment for the enjoyment of viewers mirrors how every non-Ferrari fan sees Ferrari today. Instead of poking their eyes or hitting each other with wooden beams, the Tifosi are prone to watch their beloved team forget about tires, sloppy strategy and all they can do to throw victories into traps. to gravel. Just as people watched to see what the Stooges did next, F1 fans are eagerly waiting to see what Ferrari mistake awaits each race weekend.

Haas: Axel Foley, Beverly Hills Cop Franchise

The only American team on the grid is a proverbial fish out of water in F1 space. The team has yet to find consistent success in F1, which could be attributed to either the failure to develop a competitive car or the lack of drivers capable of maximizing the car. If Drive to Survive clarified one thing about Haas, their rude and joking team manager, Guenther Steiner, is by far the best part of the team. If the team is just Steiner’s Ship, there’s a simple answer to who Haas would be.

The entire Beverly Hills Cop franchise centers around Detroit police detective Axel Foley, who ends up in Beverly Hills, California to solve a wild caper. The wild, talkative detective, played by Eddie Murphy, is a fish out of water in the luxury of California’s rich and famous, but he manages to make things work and crack the case. With F1’s misfit team best known for its charismatic team principal, the choice is obvious.

McLaren: Bernie Rose, driving

Despite being one of F1’s legacy brands, McLaren has yet to reach the heights it reached before the hybrid era. In 2018, they promoted Zak Brown, a no-frills American racer, from his role as executive director at McLaren Technology Group to CEO of McLaren Racing. Since joining, the team has expanded its racing operations and brought in star talent like Lando Norris and Oscar Piastri. The team too, under Brown’s leadership, had its controversies, some of which stemmed from insane comments by Brown himself.

In this way, McLaren currently feels like Bernie Rose from Drive. Albert Brooks’ brutal, no-nonsense gangster looks like a match for Brown’s personality from what we’ve seen. Also, part of Drive involves Bernie being convinced to invest in a race car by a mechanic. So business and personality collide at Bernie Rose of Drive.

Mercedes: Ivan Drago, “Rocky IV”

For most of the last decade, Mercedes has been the villain of F1. They nailed the 2014 rule changes and never looked back on their way to seven straight titles. Their car produced speed, cornering and reliability that no other team could match. The Silver Arrows were an unbeatable force, an object no one could survive, like Ivan Drago.

In Rocky IV, Drago is the perfect specimen, a man scientifically trained to be a weapon of death in the ring. The only reason he was defeated is because Rocky managed to outlast him with his sheer determination and grit……much like how the 2021 season went.

Red Bull: Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, “Top Gun” franchise

Love them or hate them, they get the job done. Christian Horner, Helmut Marko, Adiran Newey, Max Verstappen and Sergio Perez are the best team in F1 right now. Since entering in 2005, Milton Keynes operations have won 5 Drivers’ Championships and 4 Constructors’ Championships. The only team better than them in this period at Mercedes. With two more titles on the line this season, the Red Bull era may be upon us once again.

Of all F1 teams, Red Bull epitomizes the attitude of Pete ‘Maverick’ Mitchell. The car is a straight-line speed demon that no other team can match. Along with that, Max Verstappen is freezing at the wheel of the RB18. Behind him, Checho is perhaps the strongest-willed winger in F1 after Abu Dhabi last year. Where fans draw the line is the antics that Christian Horner and Helmut Marko pull off every year. The ever-controversial characters are never afraid to stir the pot, even though they can often be more right than they are. In Top Gun, the Navy needs Maverick. In F1, the sport needs Red Bull.

Williams: Adonis “Donnie” Creed, Creed

Many new F1 fans may not know how legendary and successful Williams is in F1. The nine-time constructors’ champions and seven-times drivers’ champions are one of the hallmarks of F1 today. Yet the F1 hybrid era has slowly transformed Williams from a midfield titan into a back-of-the-grid team. Under new ownership, the brand appears to be taking a step forward in its return to success. These moves, in turn, provide an arc of redemption and an underdog story that’s hard not to root for each race.

This story is why Williams is Adonis Creed. After the post-Rocky IV failures of the Rocky franchise, it was clear that new blood was needed. Enter Adonis “Donnie” Creed, the illegitimate son of Apollo Creed. After a troubled childhood, Donnie gives up his job in finance to devote himself to his passion, boxing. With Creed blood, he has a desire to prove himself worthy of the Creed name. Soon after, he quickly finds himself in a match for the World Light Heavyweight Championship.

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