Style Invitational Semaine 1509 contest: Combine two one-word movie titles


Metropolis Parasite: A Wall Street hedge fund trader designs a way to pay $27 in income tax.

Psychopathic cats: Fluffy and Ginger go in the shower!

Unforgivable Pinocchio: “You’ve lied once too often, wooden boy – I’m turning you into a spice rack.”

This week’s contest was suggested by Loser Lee Graham, who recalled that one-word movie titles didn’t work for him in a previous Invite contest. This week: Combine two one-word movie titles to create a new movie and describe it, as in the examples above. The original title must consist of a single word: no “A”, “Le”, “IV”, etc. You can add some extra words (e.g., “and the”, “against”), but the additional words should not form a significant part of the title. Do not mix the two titles in one word.

Submit up to 25 entries to (no capitals in the web address). The deadline is Monday evening October 17; the results appear on November 9 in printed form, on November 6 online.

The winner takes the clown making, our Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives – offered by loser Sue Lin Chong, who won it in week 267 (1998) – a Genuine 1972 chrome license plate frame in mint condition featuring the side views of two lissome ladies. While it would look tacky even on a bloated Ford 150, it would make a fabulously campy picture frame.

Other finalists earn their choice of our “For Best Results, Pour High End” Loser Mug or our “Whole Fools” Grossery Bag. Honorable mentions get one of our coveted Loser magnets, “A Small Jester of Appreciation” or “Close, but Ceci N’est Pas un Cigare”. First-time offenders are only given a smelly tree-shaped “air freshener” (stinky tree for their first ink). See general contest rules and guidelines at The title “Community Jest” is by Jesse Frankovich; Both Jesse and Tom Witte submitted the honorable mentions subtitle. Join the lively Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at; follow Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter.

The conversational style: The Empress’ weekly online column discusses each new contest and set of results. See this week, published late Thursday, October 6, at

Community joke: inking “sister cities” from week 1505

In Week 1505 the Empress asked the losers to choose two or more cities in the United States and Canada and provide a joint venture they could undertake. The “or more” turned into long strings of names that brought a HUH instead of the preferred HA, like US Navy Bear-Rio-Sam-Aben-Laden-Indio-Shinn-Ware-Heaslip-Witty-Fish funeral detail (Idaho, Fla., Va., La., Ky., Calif., Ill., Ala., Ontario, Mo., Ga.) After much perplexity, we thought Randy Lee was about to “Bury Osama bin Laden in the ocean where he sleeps with the fish. EH. We hope the following are simpler, although sometimes it helps a lot to say them out loud several times.

The Iowa-Latta-Green Student Loan Forgiveness Program (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) [towns in Louisiana, Oklahoma and Ohio]

The warm springs Very average station (Dave Airozo, Silver Spring, Maryland) [Md., Ga.]

and the paper dolls of literary characters:

The Gordon-Ramsay-Letts-Macon-Effingham-Sandwich Brown Bag Workshop (Chris Doyle, Denton, Texas) (Iowa, Illinois, Georgia, Illinois, Mass., Alabama)

And the winner of the clownish achievement:

The Albee-Gladwin-Weir-Dunn Divorce law firm (Jesse Frankovich, Lansing, Michigan) [S.D., Mich., Kan., N.C.]

City slackers: honorable mentions

The Tupelo-Zero Winter Preparation Advisory Group (Rob Cohen, Potomac, Maryland) [Neb., Miss., Mont.)

The Dunn-Dunn-Dunn-Dunn DragnetCon (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) [Mo., N.C., Tex., Wis.]

The Boring-Rector-Babylone-Macon-Sleeper-Nodaway Committee to Improve Sunday Sermons (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Alabama) [Ore., Ark., N.Y., Miss., Mo., Iowa]

The Reston Laurier Quietly Leaving Club (Karen Lambert, Chevy Chase, Maryland) [Va., Md.]

Weir-Putnam-Underhill Gravediggers: “If we can’t get you dirty, no one can. (Jon Gearhart) [Neb., Ala., Wis.]

The Letts-Baskin-Coldwater Polar Bear Club (Beverley Sharp) [Iowa, Fla., Mich.]

The Macon-America-Grady-Gann Militia rally (Jeff Contompasis) [Ga., Ill., Ark., Ohio]

The Randy-Lee-Burke-Virginia Self-help company (Randy Lee, Burke, Va.) (Ky., NY, Va., Washington)

The Reubens-Sandwich-Hahn-White-Witt-Mayo Brooklyn Deli Tour for Iowans (Chris Doyle) [Ida., Mass., Tex., S.D., Ill., Fla.]

The Watha-Hellam-Ida-Wing-Heeia Senior Moment Museum (Duncan Stevens, Vienna, Virginia) [N.C., Pa., La., N.D., Hawaii]

The Venice-Tom-Brady-Given-Upp sports betting app (Pam Shermeyer, Lathrup Village, Michigan) [Fla., Okla., Texas, W.Va., Calif.]

The Weir-Naughton-Kansas-Haney-Moore “Wizard of Oz” Cosplayer Convention (Chris Doyle) [Kan., Ontario, Wis., Ore., N.J.]

The Albée-Xenia Quickie Divorce Center (Neil Kurland, Elkridge, Maryland) [S.D., Ohio]

The Albee-Armonk-Keyes-Sun-Kell-Clarence-Darrow-Ford-Dee-Winn Scopes trial reconstruction (Chris Doyle) [Iowa, Calif., La., Ind., La., Iowa, La., Ore., Mich.]

The Harris Yankton Hair removal salon (Jesse Frankovich) [Minn., S.D.]

Wickett-Bee-Dublin-York-Cache Investment Services (Byron Miller, Cobble Hill, BC) [Tex., Ohio, Ontario, Okla.]

The Wyalusing-Troy-Harder Disgusting Sports Parent Training Center (Sarah Walsh, Rockville, Maryland) [Wis., N.Y. Wash.]

The Brief Aiea-Seymour-Dent-Franzen-London Repair workshop (Duncan Stevens) [Hawaii, Conn., Minn., Wis., Ark.]

The Daggett-Ding Dong-Stuckey-Puckett Reformed Association of Foulmouths (Sarah Walsh) [Calif., Tex., S.C., Miss.]

The Dunn-Ocala-Mead-Shirley Leslie Nielsen Film Festival (Frank Osen, Pasadena, CA) [Minn., Fla., Colo., Ark.]

The Florence-Foster-Jenkins Vocal Arts Conservatory (Jonathan Jensen, Baltimore) [Ariz., R.I., Ky.]

The Hadden Inklin Psychic Connection Hotline (Pam Shermeyer) [Ga., B.C.]

The Granby-Aiken Center for Geriatric Medicine (Karen Lambert) [Quebec, S.C.]

The Hansen-Franzen-Gurley-Mann-Pompey-Opp School of Schwarzenegger Parodies (Duncan Stevens) [Idaho, Wis., Ala., Pa., N.Y., Ala.]

The Havana-Gila Bend Jewish Folk Dance Center (Bird Waring, Larchmont, NY) [Fla., Ariz.]

The Howe-Mina-Rhodes-Masham-Mann-Walker-Downs wind research institute (Duncan Stevens) [Pa., N.Y., Iowa, Quebec, Pa., Iowa, Ill.]

Izee-Still-Shamokin Smoking cessation counselors (Pam Shermeyer) [Oregon, N.D., Pa.]

The Kent-Eustace Garage sale (Sarah Walsh) [Ohio, Tex.]

The Nome-Mentor-Love Lonely Hearts Club (Karen Lambert) [Alaska, Ohio, Ariz.]

The Nome-Orlando Keep Billy Dee Williams out of the petition for future Star Wars sequels (Sam Mertens, Silver Spring, Maryland) [Alaska, Fla.]

The Luke-Sky-Walker-Dee-Good-Jed-Eyota-Kilsyth-Pas-Kissimmee-Sisters Label En-Forcers (Randy Lee) [Tenn., Calif., Ga., Mo., Maine, Ore., W.Va., W.Va., Minn., Tenn., Mo., Fla., Ore.]

The Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme-Acme anvil choir (Jeff Contompasis) [Alberta, Ind., Kan., La., Mich., N.C., Ore., Pa., Wash., W.Va.]

The Airdrie-Sheets-Ong-Linesville-Gough-Wapato-Tywappity Wet Laundry Concerto (Frank Osen) [Alberta, N.D., N.D., Pa., Ga., Wash., Mo.]

The Cole-Esterel Healthy Heart Initiative (Frank Mann, Washington) (Oklahoma, Quebec)

The Doane-Nead-Macomb-Nome-Moore Baldness support group (Jesse Frankovich) [W.Va., Ind., Ill., Alaska, Okla.]

The Juneau-Wymark-Aiguilles-Kyle High school gossip podcast (Lee Graham, Reston, Virginia) [Alaska, Saskatchewan, Calif., Saskatchewan]

The Jupiter-Spokane-Venus-Hurd Romantic book club (Kathy El-Assal, Middleton, Wis.) [Fla., Wash., Tex., N.D.]

The Macon-Annada-Sandwich Anonymous Overeaters Helpline (Rob Cohen) [Ga., Mo., Mass.]

Letts-Coe-Brandon Refined Young Republicans of America (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Maryland) [Iowa, Ill., Manitoba]

The Maumee-Loving-Sigmund-Froid-Eddy-Pool-Complex Analyze cities (Randy Lee) [Ark., Ga., Pa., Mont., Okla., W.Va., N.C.]

The Pat-Dee-Buda-Bell-Lee good luck club (Randy Lee) [Miss., Pa., Neb., Iowa, Ala.]

The Weir-Bannen-Flippin-Dee-Byrd Citizens against public displays of rudeness (Chris Doyle) [Kan., W.Va., Ark., Ore., Ark.]

The Little-Mermaid-Musson-Bee-Black Aryan background foods (Randy Lee) [Okla., Del., La., Neb., S.C.]

The Bigfoot-Climax Study on the events we would like not to see (Leif Picoult, Rockville, Maryland) [Tex., Saskatchewan]

The Back-Offutt-Athol Bar Fight Management School (Pam Shermeyer) [Tex., Tenn., Mass.]

Finally: The Wonder-Wye-Kent-Winn Style Invitational Support Group (Rob Cohen) [Ky., Mont., Ohio, Ala.]

Still running – deadline Monday evening October 10: Our competition to invent new words with the ELDN letter block. See

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Invisible ink! Idea:(Lee Graham) Examples:() Title:(Jesse Frankovich) Subtitle:(Jesse Frankovich; Tom Witte) Price:(Sue Lin Chong) VisibleInk!


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